Sunday, June 27, 2010

Ugh

It was like a perfect storm: I woke up ten minutes late and we ended up ten minutes late to church. Adam is camping today. We had to sit in the foyer until the Sacrament was passed, which meant Katrina wandered around having fun while I held Daniel and whispered at her to come back. After the Sacrament we went inside and the room was packed because apparently the two Valley Forge wards are having their building fumigated today. The only place for us was sharing the front row. My visiting teacher scooped Daniel away from me, leaving me with just Katrina. The front row is the absolute worst spot for her because it is right next to the stairs. Sure enough, I had to take her out three times because of stair-related tantrums. Daniel was fussy too, so my vt was outside walking him. A big problem with taking Katrina out is that by the time she's in the foyer, she gets distracted from the reason she was crying and then when we hold her on our laps while she cries, I guarantee she's mostly mad that she can't get down and the reason she got taken out of Sacrament meeting is completely lost on her. I tried to talk to her about staying away from the stairs each time (because she was climbing up onto the stand and talking to the bishopric) but then she headed straight to them each time. Finally I had it. I told her the next time she wouldn't listen to me we would go home and she wouldn't get to go to nursery. By this time I had a big headache. Well, she lasted longer, but five minutes before the meeting was over the whole cycle started up again and so I packed up our bags, picked her up, and grabbed Daniel from my friend in the hallway.

I know this sort of thing happens to everyone, but I feel bad for giving up. I also try to not get embarrassed when I have to take her out repeatedly, but today I couldn't help it. I just felt like such a failure. And I'm not asking for everyone to tell me "you're not a failure!", because I know I'm not, but I just need to vent a bit. We've been dealing with this with Katrina for nearly a year and it felt like things were getting better. But today she had absolutely no concept of "talk quieter, use your whisper voice, be quiet, stay away from the stairs, be reverent, hush sweetie, stay by the bench" etc. It really feels like she should be able to get it by now, and that I'm doing something wrong. It's also the reason we normally sit in the back row, away from the stairs, and close to the door, so the whole ward doesn't have to be distracted when I carry her out screaming. Everyone tells me "oh, this is such a hard age," but none of the other kids her age are like this. And I've seen them in nursery, they're normal kids, not all little angels, which makes me think it's my parenting strategies that are not working.

I was so upset that when we got home and she immediately headed to the remote and asked for the tv, I decided to implement our plan for cutting down on tv, even though I was going to wait another week. I went over and unplugged the tv, and then told her it was broken. My goal is to keep the tv "broken" for an entire week. I don't know if I can mentally handle it, but I think it's necessary. I have some lazy parenting habits and I want to break those habits and break her reliance on the tv while she's still young. Before Daniel was born she only watched an hour a day, half an hour when she woke and half an hour before bed. After a week or two of no tv, I might try letting her watch in the morning and evening again, but maybe not. I'm still undecided on whether she can watch movies on the computer or not this week.

I also did a big no-no and got mad at her and punished her when she pooed in her pants. Usually I don't make a big deal, I just change it, encourage her to use the toilet next time, tell her it's gross and she agrees. This time I got mad and put her in time out. Sigh. This is going to be a long week.

6 comments:

Seamingly Sarah said...

You mean my daughter isn't the only one!!!! I left church early today too. She hates children church (she kicked and screamed when I brought her into the room) but I feel so stressed out when she talks during the service. I also feel like I fail or give in when I have to leave early (this was not the first time) and I also echo that feeling that others are looking at you while you toss a tantrum toddler over your shoulder and leave. Ugh. I will say it gets easier to leave church early the next time it happens. But here's to it not happening again.

Evenspor said...

Aww. I've definitely had those weeks. Like... last week.

When my son was that age, I always felt like he was the only kid acting like that too.

Elise said...

Oh man, this all sounds so familiar. Every last bit of it. It seems like I am always "that mom" now whenever we are out places! I haven't done all the kids at church by myself yet and I am definitely not looking forward to the day.

Just in case it works, the only time-out that ever seemed to work for Everett at church was when I took him out to the car, strapped him in his car seat, and stood behind the car so he couldn't see me. I feel kind of bad about it, but it was really effective. Katrina seems to be such a smart little girl you might have to take similar drastic measures.

And kudos on the TV. I'm lazy about the TV too. That is something I always said I'd never do. Man. . .why do we ever say these things?

Glad you vented. Maybe I should go over to my blog and vent too.

Elise said...

P.S. I'm going against your explicit orders, but I really do think you are an awesome mom. Katrina wouldn't be doing as well with anyone else.

lsj said...

Just hang in there and don't give up. That is what parenting is all about. Fortunately, there are the good times that make it all worth it.

Deidre said...

David is two and a half, I'll admit he is a lot better than he used to be. He can't whisper. I suspect for many small children it is hard to figure whispering out, seriously, the ones you know are probably just quiet in general...think about it.

He got his head stuck between the bench and the wall because he was trying to squeeze back to see a friend. I don't think he really gets that was a consequence for what he did.

Katrina isn't bad, she just has a very active personality. Many kids I know are very mellow and sedate, not David though. I went through the same thing.

Keep trying, going home didn't mean you gave up, it was the best way to deal with it that day.

You aren't alone. It has taken me a very long time to realize David is smart and active and not just completely naughty!