Monday, February 22, 2010

Miserable evening

First of all, Daniel's cardiologist appointment went well. He was in a great mood and smiled and wriggled all over the place during his EKG, which was cute but frustrating (and funny) for the nurse. The doctor checked him out and pronounced him healthy, saying his heart murmur is normal and not to worry about it.

Tonight, on the other hand, has been miserable. I realized that one of my books was overdue and so I needed to go to the library (that soured my mood a bit because I agree with my mom--there are few things more pointless and avoidable than library fines and traffic tickets). Our ground beef had gone bad and cooking it smelled up the apartment with a nasty stench. I went out to pick up more and stopped by the library. When I pulled out of the parking spot I looked both ways, made sure there were no pedestrians, and crept out. I could barely see anything because of the rain reflecting streetlights off of my back windshield. Suddenly I hear a scrape, right as I was switching into Drive. Oh no! I pulled back in, jumped out, and talked to the driver who was coming back right then. I'm still mad about the whole thing, since I was being so careful and he was parked in a no-parking zone in a dark car. Luckily it was a very small mark that wiped off, so I think I mostly just scraped the grime from my car to his. This was the first time I've hit anything!

I headed to the store, carrying just a small basket. I remembered that we needed milk and a few other things, so I loaded myself down with two gallons of milk, ground beef, potatoes, and other things way too heavy for one of those baskets. After I loaded up the conveyor belt, I realized my wallet was in the car. It was just not my night. I finally got home at 7. I salvaged a near disastrous mistake while making dinner (1/4 cup soy sauce instead of 1 tablespoon). It ended up tasting really good (Asian Lettuce Wraps).

Bleh. Yesterday we missed church because Katrina was pouring snot from her nose like a faucet, and we had such an awful night the night before with Daniel that once Adam could finally get some sleep he slept until 10. Last night was bad too. Daniel won't stay asleep for longer than an hour in his bassinet. I end up cradling him next to me and he falls back asleep, or Adam takes him out and tries everything until I call him back and nurse more, after which I either try moving Daniel or just sleep sitting up for awhile while he sleeps on the boppy for an hour or so.

The fragmented sleep is killing me. I'm so exhausted perpetually. I feel this simmering anger all the time. Katrina is going crazy and her obedience level is basically nil. I'm planning on taking her to playgroup tomorrow, but I just dread the whole process of going anywhere with both kids. Daniel is a car screamer, and while he's better than he used to be, it is so wearing to have to listen to his crying all the time while driving. I always have to wake one or both children from naps to pick Adam up in the afternoon. Carrying around Katrina in one arm and the carseat in the other while going up and down stairs is so tiring and leaves my back aching for several days. So I can either stay at home, where Daniel is an excellent baby but Katrina is a horrible toddler and stresses me out, or go places where she can get her energy out but he cries and stresses me out.

Basically, I need the snow to melt so I can take them on walks. Bring on spring! Plus, Adam will start cycling to work and that will free up the car for me.

Good things--I'm slowly but steadily working on the appliques for Katrina's quilt and they look good. Also, in preparation for our tentative switch to cloth diapers I am researching how I could do them as cheaply as possible and have decided to try sewing some. Cloth diapers are a lot easier than they used to be and there are some nice diaper fabrics out there.


Amber said...

I'm so sorry about your horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day. And about the fragmented sleep--I know I'm not a very nice person when my sleep is bad (how did Dan survive living with me when I worked 1/2 days, 1/2 nights?) and it's exhausting to fight/love a 2 year old and a baby all day even when you DO sleep at night.
Do you have a double stroller? That is my sanity saver when I go out with both kids. I just have to have somewhere to set the carseat when I need to chase a toddler and somewhere to strap down my toddler if the need arises.
I hope your day tomorrow is better. And that your sweet Daniel figures out sleeping soon. That's rough.

Jolena said...

Oh Tori, what a horrible couple days! I hope venting about it made you feel a little bit better. This was really not your day. I hope tomorrow is a better one.

I'd really like to hear how the cloth diapers go, both making them and using them. And I can't wait to see Katrina's quilt.

Good luck sis!

sb said...

I'm sorry things have been rough lately. I know how exhausting it is to get fragmented sleep and so I hope things improve for you soon.

As far as the cloth diapers go, YAY! I really have been happy using mine, though I can't say I was so good as to make them. I thought about briefly, but knew I just didn't have the skills, confidence, or patience. From what I've seen of you, you have all three. You may know all this, but the cheapest option, by far, is to use a cover and prefold/fitted system. I've never used that system, but from what I've read, the cheapest covers are probably ones sewn with fleece or old wool sweaters, though you could knit or crochet some longies/soakers for pretty cheap too. PUL is probably the easiest, but it is pricey and hard-to-find. You might consider signing up for a co-op if you're going with PUL. Prefolds are easy to come by, and are somewhat cheap (try, but for the ultimate in cheapness, you can Google (if you haven't already) how to make your own fitteds using t-shirts and flannel. You could hit up the thrift stores even and use cheap men's shirts. You could also make inserts out of microfiber towels wrapped in something else since the microfiber can't touch baby's skin. I'm sure you've done a ton of research already, but I did a bunch when I was first starting, so while I don't have any experience, I can possibly give you information.

Momza said...

Oh Tori,
Motherhood is the toughest job in the world when you lack sleep.
You've probably been told this, but it is so so true:
This phase won't last. Katrina will grow up to be a lovely young lady, and Daniel will learn to love going in the car and sleep all night!! next month, it will be better, and in 6 months this will be behind you! You CAN Do it!!!

Tasha's Life said...

Tori! I'm glad you have a place to get this all out and then great friends and family to cheer you on. We all love you and wish we could be closer to you! I feel for you and will call for advice, I'm sure, when it's my turn.

Love ya!

aleatha said...

Hi Tori-
I might be too late, but I wanted to tell you about some super cheap PUL fabric for diaper covers. It's half price because there are a few wrinkles on the laminate side. It doesn't affect the waterproof quality at all, and I honestly wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't known. I just bought some to make diaper covers and had a great experience. It's $5 per yard, which, if you have been looking at PUL fabric, normally it's $8-$10.
Here's the link:
The only thing is, there's a limited number of prints, and some are kinda ugly.
Don't know if you wanted to use PUL or if you already bought something but I wanted to let you know!

-Aleatha, another sleep deprived mama.

Elise said...

Wait a second. . .why didn't my comment post? Weird.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you've had a rough week, on top of a long week, on top of all that blasted snow, on top of everything else. It is so, so tough. The best thing is that Katrina won't remember any of this, she'll just remember that she had a happy childhood! I am so glad that the cardiologist appointment went well. It is nice to know that Daniel is doing well!

And, cloth diapers? You are so ambitious, Tori. If anyone could figure out how to make them and make them work, you can. You are very clever. You'll have to do a series of posts about your process and the system you decide to use.